Words that heal: The impact of trauma-informed language
Apr 2025
Written by Noel Macnamara
In a world where words hold the power to heal or harm, the language we choose when speaking with others—especially those who have experienced trauma—carries incredible significance. Whether working in out-of-home care or youth detention centres, adopting trauma-informed language can transform interactions and create an environment of safety and trust.
Consider the words we often use, such as placement, respite, absconder, case, siblings, detainee, or offender. How might these terms make children and young people feel? Do they evoke comfort and belonging, or do they reinforce a sense of disconnection and institutionalisation?
But what exactly is trauma-informed language, and how can we incorporate it into our daily practice?
What is trauma-informed language?
Trauma-informed language recognises that many individuals we interact with have faced significant adversity, including experiences of abuse, neglect, violence, discrimination, or other forms of hardship. It fosters a shift in communication from a place of authority, blame, or judgement to one rooted in empathy, curiosity, and respect. This approach seeks to minimise re-traumatisation and promote a sense of psychological safety.
For example, instead of asking, “Why are you acting like this?” which can sound accusatory, a trauma-informed approach might ask, “Can you help me understand what’s going on?” This slight shift in phrasing acknowledges that behaviours often stem from past experiences rather than intentional defiance.
Similarly, rather than saying, “Calm down!”—which may dismiss a person’s emotional state—a trauma-informed response could be, “I can see that you’re upset. How can I support you right now?” This wording validates emotions and offers support rather than control.
Another example is in educational or caregiving settings. Instead of saying to a struggling child, “You need to try harder,” a trauma-informed approach would be, “I see you’re putting in effort. What can we do together to make this easier?” This approach acknowledges the child’s effort and offers collaboration instead of pressure.
By embracing trauma-informed language, we move away from reinforcing feelings of shame or failure and instead create spaces where people feel heard, understood, and supported.
Trauma-informed language rests on these foundational principles:
- Safety: Ensuring people feel physically and emotionally secure.
- Trustworthiness: Being honest, reliable, and transparent.
- Choice: Offering options instead of issuing commands.
- Collaboration: Encouraging shared decision-making and participation.
- Empowerment: Validating strengths and supporting autonomy.
When these principles are embedded in our words and actions, we help mitigate re-traumatisation and build healthier, more supportive relationships. By being mindful of how we speak, we help build bridges of understanding and support, creating a space where healing can truly begin.
Why it matters in youth detention centres and out-of-home care
In youth detention centres and out-of-home care settings, where children and young people are often navigating histories of abuse, neglect, and systemic oppression, language plays a crucial role. A simple phrase, delivered with compassion, can de-escalate a tense situation or help a young person feel valued and understood. Conversely, language that shames, blames, or dismisses can deepen wounds and reinforce cycles of trauma and mistrust.
For example, instead of saying, “Calm down,” which can feel dismissive, a trauma-informed approach might be, “I can see you’re really upset right now. How can I help you feel safer?” This subtle shift acknowledges the young person’s emotional state and invites collaboration rather than control.
Practical tips for trauma-informed communication
- Use person-first language: Instead of labelling someone by their behaviour or condition (e.g., “offender” or “addict”), describe the person and their experience (e.g., “a young person who is struggling” or “someone with a substance use disorder”).
- Avoid triggering language: Be mindful of words or tones that might evoke fear, shame, or anger. Avoid commands or sarcasm and choose words that promote respect and understanding.
- Practice active listening: Sometimes, trauma-informed language is less about what you say and more about how you listen. Reflect back what you hear, validate feelings, and resist the urge to immediately solve or correct.
- Apologise when needed: If you say something that unintentionally harms or triggers someone, a genuine apology can go a long way in restoring trust.
- Model emotional regulation: Your calm, measured tone can help co-regulate a young person who is in distress, modelling healthy coping mechanisms and setting a supportive tone.
Creating a culture of compassion
Adopting trauma-informed language is not just about individual conversations; it’s about creating a broader culture of compassion and respect. This requires ongoing reflection, team discussions, and a willingness to learn and grow. When staff and carers collectively commit to speaking with care, young people notice—and they often respond in kind.
Ultimately, trauma-informed language reminds us that everyone has a story and that our words can be a source of comfort, not pain. By choosing empathy over judgement, curiosity over assumption, and respect over control, we build stronger, healthier communities—one conversation at a time.
What small change can you make today to use your words more thoughtfully? Let’s start there.
Noel Macnamara is the director of CETC and an experienced trainer of thousands of carers, care staff, and organisational leaders. Don’t miss his upcoming virtual workshop on understanding Blocked Care: For professionals and practitioners coming up on the 14th of May.
