Working with trauma-impacted children and young people can be exhausting and overwhelming. This feeling is often compounded by not having the resources to help these children and young people in the ways we know they need.

I doubt you need me to say, “You should take care of yourself.” You probably already know that. It’s much more likely that you’re so worn out it’s hard to find the time to even think about self-care.

Here are five suggestions for how you can take care of yourself, even when you’re exhausted and overwhelmed from caring for others.

Suggestion 1: Sleep care as self-care

Sleep is one of the most beneficial things for your physical and mental wellbeing, as well as your daily functioning. Sleep is a time to recharge, repair our bodies, restore our energy, and prepare for the day ahead. Prioritising sleep-care as self-care is the foundation of health! However, inadequate sleep is quite common, affecting 33-45% of Australian adults. Chronic sleep problems are correlated with stress, depression and anxiety.

Getting enough sleep can:

• Boost your immune system
• Help prevent weight gain
• Increase heart function
• Improve your mood
• Improve memory

The average adult needs 7-9 hours of undisturbed sleep each night! A self-care routine for better sleep could be a simple way to significantly improve your wellbeing and capacity to care. Checkout the Sleeping Foundation website for tips to develop a plan. If you are having persistent trouble sleeping, it’s important to contact your doctor.

Suggestion 2: Know your circles of influence and concern

Too many of us feel helpless because we focus on things we don’t have any control over. As van Dernoot Lipsky (2018) puts it, “You know in your gut that there is only so much you can do, but you still feel responsible in some way” (p. 51).

Our circle of concern includes a range of things – attitudes in society, the organisation you work for, what your colleagues do, how people drive their cars etc. The actual list will depend on the individual, but the important thing to consider is that there may be little you can do about many of these things, since they are outside your influence. Devoting energy on them may be a waste of time – the equivalent of shouting at the television. It will drain your energy.

Our circle of influence will be much smaller. It includes the things we can do something about. The extent of this will obviously be related to your power – the Prime Minister of Australia or your organisation’s CEO may have far more influence than you. The key is to focus your energy on those things that you can influence – this will enable you to make effective changes.

Suggestion 3: Adopt a resilience slogan

I’m not a big fan of affirmations. On the other hand, I do like anti-perfectionist slogans like “I’m doing the best I can with what I’ve got” and “Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly”. I’m not suggesting that anybody shirk their responsibilities. I just think it’s better to recognise your own limits than to let yourself get pulled so hard in different directions that you snap or fall apart.

Here are the messages I find most helpful when I’m feeling totally overwhelmed:

• “One foot in front of the other.”
• “Aim for success, not perfection.”
• “That issue isn’t a priority today.”
• “I don’t have to want to do this. I just have to do it.”
• “There is no good option. This is the least bad option available.”
• “That decision’s been made. I need to move on to the next decision.”